"Great . . . wheel? Sounds boring. The multiverse is a pile of goo, with some crunchy bits. Occasionally, someone adds salt."

Patterns. Rules. Order. These are tools of the dim and the ignorant use to attempt to codify the multiverse and understand it. Instead, Xaositects (also known as the Chaosmen) believe that the answer is staring everyone in the face: There are no rules, and there is no deeper meaning to existence. Attempting to impose any kind of structure is antithetical to what it all means, and trying to stem the tide of change and disorder puts you farther away from understanding it all and finding your place in the chaotic sea of reality.
    If this view is true, does that mean that all reality is meaningless, and everyone should sink into despair? Yes and no. (Or no and yes.) Other factions might wallow in doom and gloom over this perceived futility, but the Xaositects’ understanding goes deeper than that. Down into despair is certainly one direction, but a body who embraces chaos is equally likely to float up into happiness, or sideways into the street. Reality is meaningless, but a lack of meaning isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. Abandoning a search for meaning is the surest way to find it. The more your life reflects chaos, the more your life is like the multiverse, and both are sources of endless surprise.

    Xaositect Starting Feature (1st level): You gain the babble power.
    Xaositect Level 5 Feature (5th level): You gain a +2 power bonus to Arcana checks and Bluff checks.
    Xaositect Level 10 Feature (10th level): You gain a +2 power bonus to all defenses against opportunity attacks. Additionally, you cannot be surprised while you are conscious.

Xaositect Attack Babble

Geegle dooo bleagh owlbear ron grickle flick tarrasque meat!

Encounter        Charm
Minor Action      Ranged 5

Target: One creature that can hear you

Attack: Highest ability modifier + 2 vs. Will
    Level 11: Highest ability modifier + 4 vs. Will
    Level 21: Highest ability modifier + 6 vs. Will

Effect: The target cannot speak intelligibly or deliver any effect that relies on speech (save ends).

Xaositect Utility 2Hornung's Deflector

A hemisphere of elemental matter manifests around you, deflecting incoming missiles or making you a bigger target.

Immediate Interrupt      Personal

Trigger: You are hit by a ranged attack.

Effect: The attack instead hits a random creature (including yourself) within 3 squares of you.

Xaositect Utility 6The Die Is Cast

Chaos reigns in every glance, strike, and pose. Those who ally themselves with randomness can change their reality.

Free Action      Personal

Trigger: You roll a d20 and dislike the result.

Effect: Add 1d10 to the roll, and then subtract 1d4 from the roll.

Xaositect Utility 10Battlefield Shuffle

Sometimes you just have to toss everything up and hope it works out for the best.

Free Action      Close burst 20

Trigger: You roll initiative and dislike the result.

Effect: You and each creature in the burst reroll initiative. You and your allies gain a +4 power bonus to the roll, and your enemies take a -4 penalty to it.

Published in Dragon Magazine 414.